Cankles to Ankles - A Weight Loss Journey
Last august, I decided to put what was left of my energy into trying to lose weight. I was...a fat mom. I was a pop drinking, Little Debbie smashing, cupcake loving consumer of WAY more than the recommended number of calories a day.
I had been putting off this journey for a long time for a number of reasons (or as everybody kept telling me, excuses). For one, I was SO busy taking care of my kids, my house, my husband, and my job that I couldn't fathom just HOW I was going to have time to manage a diet. I was dropping into bed at the end of every day absolutely exhausted.
Two, dieting is expensive because (and anyone that tells you it's not, is lying), let's face it, carbohydrates are cheap- fresh foods that are actually good for you are EXPENSIVE and sometimes hard to find, depending on where you live.
I had experienced this when my husband and I did the Atkins diet many many years ago - when our food budget went THROUGH THE ROOF. The WW app may be free, but membership, which gives you the most benefit, costs $10-ish dollars a month. Let's just say that you are successful at your diet, then you will shrink and will need new clothes - that can be VERY expensive. We were already members of the local Y, so that was already part of our monthly budget so fitness cost was not an issue. But for some, access to fitness equipment and education costs $$$.
Three, I was not ready mentally. This is important. I was not in a place where I could manage such a large commitment of mental time and resources. Now, I am not a therapist, but I can tell you that nobody was going to force me to diet and exercise (save for Chris Hemsworth showing up shirtless at my door). My husband begged me to go on a diet with him for YEARS. He too wanted to lose weight and needed my support, but I was not ready. So even the pleas of my beloved, could not break my resolve.
But I finally got to that place. That place was the large women's section of Macy's. My butt had grown to such proportions that I had to go to the large women's section to buy pants. I could buy shirts in the regular women's section, but my booty had expanded past the regular sizes. All of the clothes were hideous, nothing fit right.
I had to buy boots that were labeled "large calf" and when I zipped them up the side, my calf had a muffin top. Like a sausage trying to escape from its casing is the best analogy I can think of.
Eric: "Erin, it's not fair what you put those boot through." - Is it possible to traumatize shoes, because I think that is what I did to my boots.
I couldn't wear bracelets...i'm serious, my wrists were so fat, that I could not wear normal sized bracelets unless I wanted it to look like i was trying to strangle my hands to death. I bought a fanny pack to take to Disney World and...it wouldn't fit around my waist...there was not enough belt. All of these things and many others finally broke my resolve.
On my way home from Macy's heifer section, I came up with a three point plan to get the whole diet thing rolling. Well, "plan" is a really generous word to use. It was more like three ideas congealed into goo which then got thrown at a target and stuck. These goo balls of thought are what I hoped would help ease me into the whole WW diet and exercise process.
Step 1: Prepare (GIVE UP POP/SODA, start eating less) - tell no one.
Step 2: Decide on what you will do to get more exercise - tell no one
Step 3: Begin diet and exercise plan - tell Eric.
Before I let you go on this post though, I need to let you know an few important details
One, I should have let my husband know about step 1 and step 2, but I did not think my fragile ego could take any criticism if I failed at step 1, so I kept my plan a secret. Also, to be fair, I figured he would notice that I had given up pop/soda when, you know, I wasn't drinking it any more. Turns out, men don't notice things, who knew?
Two, from experience, I knew that dieting is hard. You feel like you are going to die of starvation for the first 2-3 weeks (and sometimes longer) until your body adjusts to eating less and eating different foods. It is a fucking miserable time and probably, (and I have no data other than my own on this) why a lot of people quit the diet before they really get too far or see any results. So, I wanted to make it easier on myself by doing some prepping rather than just jumping headlong into a dumpster fire.
Be back soon with details on what it was like to give up POP/SODA.