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  • Erin Griffith-Tired Educator

End of the School Year, or, the Annual School Apocalypse


So, before you start judging me for not posting for a while, let me explain. After spring break (my last post) educators and students enter the home stretch of the school year. It is a time when students become more "spirited" (a nice way of saying become bigger pains in the ass) as the weather starts warming up and the sun starts shining earlier in the

day and stays up longer into the evening.

During this time, the "Sass Levels" increase tremendously. Young men have surge of testosterone that removes most of what is left of their good judgement and young women have an estrogen boost that causes drama levels to go from a few tears here and there to dramatic breakdowns worthy of an Oscar nomination. And a sort of cabin-fever like insanity fog seems to descend upon students, teachers, and administrators.

I would like to point out that during this time of great imbalance, we ask students to take standardized tests and exams. It doesn't make much sense in my opinion. It reminds me of a time long ago when a friend of mine got incredibly drunk and then tried to show us that she could ride a horse...bareback. Do you know what happens when you are drunk and try to ride a horse bareback? You end up with a lot of bruises, a headache, and horse shit in your hair....that's what happens. So, metaphorically, trying to give students standardized tests and exams when they have "spring fever" just leads to everyone getting headaches and shit in their hair (metaphorically speaking).

Anyhoo, school interruptions increase during this time. Everything from weeks of standardized testing, Prom Promise, to National Honor Society, pep rallies for spring sports, Prom Court announcements, the senior hall walk, spirit week, field day, and many other interruptions that I cannot recall. So, even though there are not a lot of days off during this time, there are plenty of other interruptions to keep your classroom just slightly off balance. Subsequently, it also makes teachers "slightly off balance."

By the time I cleaned my classroom, dusted, picked up all of the little crap that students had put in random cracks and crevices; and, erased , whited out, or covered up all of the pencil and marker drawings of penises on my counters, textbooks, tables, periodic tables, cabinets, trash cans, and trays.... I was truly "off balance."

And, what the hell is up with drawing penises on everything? Like I totally expected a surge in penis drawing after the movie "Superbad" came out years ago. But now? Maybe its just weird Freudian thing that boys do. But I digress.

Here is an example of how "slightly off balance" the end of the school year made me. When a tornado touched down just miles from my house and my children and I were hiding in the basement, I sent this text to my mother...

It is at this time of the year that most teachers begin to lose the "warm fuzzles" they have for their students. At this particular moment, in my panic...there were no fuzzles left.

I had also made a fatally (overly dramatic) decision to have my son's 9th birthday party before school ended. A decision that I promised myself that I would never make. However, my mother was going to have knee replacement surgery on my son's actual birthday and not be able to come to his party that weekend so sacrifices had to be made. I will detail more about the birthday party in another post; but, needless to say, it just added to my normal end of the school year craziness.

In fact, I am writing this post while I wait for my mother to come out of her knee surgery. It's good people watching. Let me just say, that I have seen overbooked United Airlines flights less crowded than this surgical waiting area.

Laters!


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