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  • Erin Griffith

What if...


So my husband has a lot of building projects that he wants to do around the house. Many of the projects are complex and will stretch the scope of his skills, so he has been watching a lot of you tube videos about wood working to help him refine his ideas and create plans.

For better or worse, my children have sat through hours and hours of wood working youtube videos. They know the names of a lot of the people, mostly because they are cool or funny: Jimmy Diresta, Stumpy Nubbs, Moustache Mike, the Woodpecker. You see what I'm sayin'?

Ok, I am going to tangent here, but believe me- this does connect.

So, when I was pregnant, all of the books, the internet, family members, casual acquaintances, close friends, and complete strangers all gave me advice (solicited and unsolicited - you know how it is when you are pregnant). Many of these sources suggested that I play soothing sounds and music for my womb trolls in order for them to be "smart," whatever that means.

I mean "smart" can mean a lot of things. It's like saying something or someone is "normal." What is "normal?" My normal and your normal are completely different. Normal is defined by circumstance and is not the same for everyone. In my opinion, normal is just a setting on my dryer; and sometimes, after a "normal" cycle, my laundry is still wet...so sometimes "normal" isn't what is necessary.

Did you catch that tangent...within a tangent...I am just that good.

Anyway, so I put my headphones over my stretch-mark collection every night (after "the book" said that my troll would have ears), and set my ipod to the playlist called "womb troll" which included classical music and lots of other music; including Blink-182's "All the small things" because my husband and I have a sense of humor.

Along this same line, I cannot help but wonder if this continual exposure to educational wood working videos might possibly affect my children in the future. I mean, we know they are paying attention even if they don't appear to be, because they know names of people and even frequently mentioned products. Are they picking up wood working skills and knowledge and storing it in their young impressionable minds in the same way they store the curse words that I thought I whispered?

I just have this feeling that when Abby gets into high school, she will want to take shop class-she won't know why she wants to, but she will have this feeling that she would be good at it. Then, she will get in to class and she will inexplicably know the names of all the tools. I can hear the phone call that I will get from the shop teacher...

"Mrs. Griffith, your daughter continues to correct me in class. She has built sleds for all of the table saws because she feels that it will be more efficient. She has designed and built a french cleat organizing system for all of the tools. She has set up an efficient dust collection system. When I asked her why she thinks that this is all necessary, she says "she just knows." When I asked her to build a wooden planter box, she gave a demonstration of the difference between dovetail and box joint joinery that brought a tear to my eye. Then she built a cabinet. She insists that we call her by her self proclaimed nickname Shorty, Princess of the Table Saw and is working on nicknames for the rest of us.

Mrs. Griffith, I find her plethora of knowledge impressive, but her inability to explain where it came from, mysterious. I believe that she may be a Jedi."

Ok...maybe not. Help me youtube, you're my only hope! (see, I did a Star Wars thing there!)

Laters!


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