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  • Erin P. Griffith

Hey, at least it's not Crack!


So, I am sick and stuck at home. But, before I slip into the healing hibernation that my family traditionally uses as a cure-all for viruses, I wanted to write about an interesting problem I ran into with this years freshmen.

First of all, I have an adorable "smartie door" in my room. It's a sort of "brag board," whenever students get a 'B' or better on a test or quiz, they put a "smartie"(pastel post-it) on the smartie door and I give them a smartie (the candy). Last year, my door was full of smarties at the end of the year. Students looked at the smarties as both a way to get candy and something to be proud of.

So, it is december and my smartie board is bare...and here is why. I was describing the "smartie door" to some of the middle school teachers at the beginning of the year, and they told me that smartie's were not a good idea because the kids like to grind them up and SNORT THEM! SNORT THEM LIKE COCAINE!

Now, maybe this is my age showing, but apart from making ones boogers more tasty and the slight burning sensation one would get from the citric acid used in the candy to make it 'tart,' I can see zero benefits from doing this. I mean, I guess you look sort of "bad ass" snorting stuff up your nose; but if all your friends know that you are snorting smarties, is it really that awesome?

Anyway, I was told that, due to the snorting thing, I should not give the students smarties, at least right away.

Of course, my students asked about the SMARTIE door at the beginning of the year and I told them that I used to give smarties for good grades, but I can't now because of the whole "snorting smarties" thing from middle school. I also told them that they could earn the smarties back by demonstrating more mature behaviors.

So far, they have demonstrated in multiple ways that they have probably not outgrown the whole "smartie snorting" thing. Reference my blog post on wet willies with glue; and add running with scissors, scissor nunchucks (this is why they are not allowed to use the sharp scissors anymore), drawing penises on other people's papers, sticking glue sticks to the ceiling, continuous bottle flipping...I could go on, but you can probably extrapolate from here.

In the words of some of my 9th graders, "Hey, at least it's not crack." That's just like them, taking the "glass half-full" approach to life. **insert sarcasm here**

So my adorable smartie door is destined to remain empty. Sadness.


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