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  • Erin Griffith

Needlepoint Ninja


Now, before all of you needlepoint snobs get all up in my grill about the fact that this post is about counted cross stitch, not needle point...I want you to know that I am fully aware of this. Needlepoint Ninja has better alliteration. It rolls off the tongue better than counted cross stitch ninja and, quite frankly, I like the way it sounds. And, you do use a needle that is POINTED...so I think we are really just splitting hairs.

So, my grandmother taught me to do counted cross stitch when I was very young. I still have the first one I did while at her knee somewhere in all of my crap that my mother has slowly been smuggling into my house like a Mexican drug lord. I think her strategy is to slowly empty her basement into my basement.

Anyway, I have found a new love of counted cross stitch but it is snarky and wholly inappropriate counted cross stitch. The monotony of counted cross stitch seems to be a form of meditation for me. It gives my hands something to do when they cannot do anything else. But, let's face it, I am not a sampler kind of gal.

Take for example this lovely piece of my stitchery...

My grandmother is probably raging in her grave right now...or laughing her ass off. It really would be a toss up as to the reaction that she would have had to my choice of subject for any of my projects. Actually, now that I think about it, that would also apply to many of my life choices (the whole rage or laughing thing).

Anyway, there is no way that all of my projects would fit into my own home, so I have started stitching for people against their will and either sending them my creations in the mail or leaving my projects mysteriously in places for people to find.

As an example, I left this lovely little nugget in the male teachers rest room at work...

I feel it adds a little "something" to a men's rest room and the little poo guy is so damn cute! And the message is just positive and uplifting, like it came straight from the Dalai Lama himself (if the Dalai Lama made pooping references, which he often does not).

I sent this to my friend who spends a lot of time working in cubicles, in an environment not unlike that in the movie, Office Space. Also, she is pretty gangster...and I would know, because I'm pretty gangster myself.

I stuck this gem on a shelf in the biology teachers classroom (she is a big Lord Of The Rings, fan).

I think it lets students know that they are welcome, but only if they are willing to cross the Dead marshes, take the ring to Mount Doom, and fight on the Pelennor Fields to defend the City of Minas Tirith. Ah...Lord of the Rings jargon.... I am a huge nerd.

I slipped this little guy into the school counselor's office when he was in a meeting. It complements his wardrobe, which is a smattering of several different decades, none of which is the current one.

I plan on continuing to plague people with my nerdy and inappropriate projects; so, who knows, you may be next on my list.

Laters!


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