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  • Erin Griffith

Lying About the Bacon


So my husband loves bacon...he has repeatedly asked me to buy bacon and I usually either forget or just plain don't buy it because #1: It's bad for you and #2: if I see bacon, I eat it. So my forgetfulness or disobedience is really a measure of self preservation. The only time I buy bacon is when I make a dish with bacon in it.

So here I am making a dish that requires 1/2 cup of chopped bacon. I make extra so that my husband can have two extra strips. Since Eric and I like to tease each other, I tell my kids that if daddy asks what smells like bacon when he gets home, that they are to tell him that it is a new candle that mommy bought. Abby stares at me. **as a side note, my husband has forbade me to buy candles that smell like food, because they make him hungry. A bacon candle would be like waterboarding him with bacon-that he could never eat.**

Me: I am going to tell him that the bacon candle came in a three pack with "freshly mowed lawn" and "Oil Change"

Abby: So, you want me to lie to dad, but you always tell me that I should never lie to dad. (this is said with the infinite wisdom of a 5 year old who has lied to her father multiple times and stood in the corner because of it)

Me: This isn't a lie because we are just playing a trick on daddy. It's going to be funny. So it's ok.

Abby: **big sigh of confusion**

Me: It still isn't ok to lie, but this is ok, because I told you it was ok.

Abby: *blank stare**

Stellar parenting.

Laters.


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