9th graders or really tall preschoolers? Jury is still out.
So there I am, it's the end of another fantastical physical science class. I am wrapping up checking some students work to make sure that they understood the concept we were covering in class (physical and chemical properties...if you must know). They had been given a list of chemical and physical properties and they had to cut them out and place them under the appropriate heading.
A student walks up to me and asks "Mrs. Griffith, may I go to the restroom and wash out my ear."
I pause. Because, if you can believe it, this is a question that I have never been asked.
Me: Why do you need to wash out your ear?
Student: Because there is glue in it.
Me: Ah. Ok, how did glue get in your ear.
Student: The same way it got in (another student's) ear.
**inner thoughts** Is he high or am I? I don't remember taking anything, but this feels like one of those conversations that one would have when high....with like a giant purple zebra or something.
Me: *turns around* (another student) do you have glue in your ear and do you need to go wash it out?
Another Student: Yes.
Me: OOOOKKKKAAAAY...did you put glue in your own ear.
Another student: No and I am not going to snitch on who did.
Yet, another student: Mrs. Griffith! Can I go and wash the glue out of my ear too since student and another student are going?
**inner thoughts** What the hell was in that egg mcmuffin I ate this morning?! LSD?
Me: **comes to realization** Are you guys giving each other "WET WILLIES" with GLUE?!
24 pairs of eyes stare look back and forth at each other...5 of the pairs of eyes look quite guilty.
Me: Any of you that have glue in your ears...go wash it out in the bathroom. AND, you are ALL grounded from the bottles of glue! *collects all of the bottles of Elmer's glue from the tables* You can use the glue sticks until you are ungrounded. (I'm sure they will figure out a way to abuse each other with them too...but only time will tell)
Sometimes I wonder if I teach 9th graders or really tall preschoolers. And I worry about our future...a future where the students who gave each other "wet willies" with Elmer's glue are legally allowed to drive.