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  • Erin Griffith

Garcinia Cambogia


So, I started taking an herbal supplement, Garcinia Cambogia, the other day. It touts that it can increase your metabolism. I can use any help I can get on this point; because, on my mothers side of the family, we have a few physical quirks. First, we tend to be short, solid, with low centers of gravity and we become shorter with age. Our bones are dense and we have few to no breakages, even in our adolescence and we store fat like fucking grizzly bears before winter. Second, we excel at growing body hair - we keep electrolysis and laser hair removal centers in business (you're welcome). My uncle unflatteringly said that this is because we are "big strong women" (said with a fake Russian accent) meant to survive through the next ice age. Thanks uncle Steve, I will definitely ponder my neanderthal-like physical characteristics at my next laser hair removal appointment.

Third, and most applicable, we have the slowest metabolism known to man. Carbohydrates are our weakness and our greatest enemy. In a survival situation this would be an advantage, the ability to retain fat helps to contain body heat and provides nourishment in times of poor nutrition. Sadly, none of us has had to fight bitter cold or starvation - so we are just fat. We have all tried multiple diets and exercise regimens. I tried the Atkins Diet once and while I lost a ton of weight, I was absolutely miserable. I ballooned back up in weeks once off the diet. So, short of catching a case of malaria, we are kind of stuck being obese.

Anyway, I decided to try the Garcinia Cambogia to see if it would really boost my metabolism a little. So far, I have not noticed a huge change...but I did consider going to cross fit the other day...not sure if that counts or not. Will update after a few more weeks.


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